Is it really worth carrying on with my writing journey...?

That's a question that's been running around in my head for a little while now, but this morning in particular I woke up with it playing on my mind a lot more than usual, possibly due to the atrocious sales, or lack of, lately. The low amount of page reads, I don't know. All I do know is that the landscape for indie authors like me has changed over the past few years, and it's changed a lot. 

In reality, there are two types of indie authors anyway: ones like me, who plough on, day after day, chasing sales and page reads, feeling relieved at any scraps of recognition we can salvage from any wonderful reader who's willing to give us a chance. And then there are the indie authors who are hugely successful, sell thousands upon thousands of books and quite frequently appear at author workshops to give a talk on how other authors  - the ones like me - can become as successful as them by just sticking with it. Believe me, I've been to a couple of these workshops, listened to a few of these talks, and it doesn't actually work like that. It takes more than a bit of hard work and a perfectly structured story to become a bestseller. And I have no idea how these authors manage it - is it having enough money to throw at marketing? Having the clout of the Amazon algorithms behind them? I don't know. All I know is, being an indie author like me is fast becoming exhausting. 

Some of my self-published books, all free to read with Kindle Unlimited.

I've been around since the very early days of self-publishing, and back then, I sold quite a few books on a regular basis. Because the competition wasn't anywhere near as fierce as it now. I also put my books out there to publishers, because it had always been my dream to be a published author, and I was lucky enough to be signed by an imprint of one of the biggest publishers out there. Six books later, and I was back as an indie author, and it can be BRUTAL when you're dumped by your publisher. It's literally like being ghosted. That's it. No word, no contact, and I get that, I do. I wasn't making them money, therefore I was surplus to requirements. So, yeah, I completely understand why it happened to me. I also learnt that online presence is everything when you're an author, and especially if you want an agent or a publisher to take notice of you. I honestly believe that you can write the BEST book out there, an incredible story, but if you don't have that online presence, no one is going to be interested. And me, well, I just didn't have the online presence necessary to push my books forward, because don't think for one moment that having a publisher behind you means you don't have to worry about marketing anymore. Quite the opposite. I was asked, quite freqently by my editor when a new book was released, to ask friends and family to help with the promo, leave reviews, help get the word out. What they didn't realise was that I don't have a big family, or a huge circle of friends, I am, basically, doing this alone. And that doesn't work in this world. I don't have a huge amount of confidence either, which may sound weird for someone who's quite willing to do one of the hardest things as an author, and that's put your book out there for people to read, scrutinise, and review. But, self-doubt is something that will always plague me, which is why I find navigating social media as an author, and especially as an indie author, incredibly difficult. I would love to engage and connect with other authors, but making those connections is hard for someone like me. Especially as, during the pandemic, and then the menopause hitting like a smack to the gut, I left writing behind for a couple of years. And coming back to it, it's like having to start over, from scratch, and it's been way, way harder than I thought it would be to do that. And then we have the dwindling sales. The lack of page reads. The loss of engagement with readers I used to have, it's all gone, and I have no clue how to get any of that back, so I'm just concentrating on writing more stories instead, because that's what I do. What I love to do. So, I guess that brings us back to the initial question: Is it really worth carrying on with my writing journey? In this new and much tougher landscape? As an indie author at the bottom of the pile, is it worth all the time and effort it takes to write and release a book that only a handful - if I'm lucky - people will read? The answer, for me, is yes. This is all I've wanted to do, all I've ever wanted to do. Ever since I could pick up a pencil all I've ever wanted was to write stories; be an author. It was my dream. And maybe my dream didn't turn out the way I'd hoped it might, but I've still written over 30 books. I got the chance to be traditionally published, even if that, also, didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped. And I need to stop thinking of myself as a failure because of that, I'm still writing. And I'm good at it, yeah, that's me blowing my own trumpet for a change because, quite honestly, if I don't do it, who else will? 

My latest book, Saving Grace, is still struggling with sales and page reads.

So, to all those other, struggling, indie authors out there. Stick with it. Do what you love, keep going, for you. And most of all, the advice I was asked to give to new writers when I was doing interviews back in my trad published days, that hasn't changed: find your own voice, and learn to love it.

Michelle x

It's Publication Day for 'Saving Grace'!

It was a long time coming, but here we are. Another publication day for another brand new book - 'Saving Grace'. And this one's a little different to the books that have gone before it, but like I talked about in a previous post, my writing seems to be changing as the years go by, and not being tied to a publisher anymore means I can just go with my gut and write about whatever is inspiring me at the time. And this story - I don't know. It's difficult to say what drew me to it, to these characters, all I know is it's a story I loved writing. And all I can do now is hope that some people out there enjoy reading it. It's all any of us authors can do. Anyway, check out the book blurb below, and see what you think...

Book Blurb

Grace

For a long time I’d been fascinated by The Bridge. By the man who headed up this clandestine community in northern California. An enigmatic figure, Emmet Brooks was fiercely protective of his late uncle’s legacy, so when I became one of the few “outsiders” granted permission to step through its gates, I knew I was lucky. Privileged. And what I found was a beautiful place full of love and peace and happiness. I found a man reluctant to open up his version of paradise to anyone other than those who chose to live in his world. Did he have something to hide? Was this commune really too good to be true? And why, after just a few days, did I feel so comfortable in a place that still felt almost unreal?
I didn’t see it, at first. I didn’t see it because I hadn’t wanted to. But he saw it. Emmet Brooks. He saw what I’d chosen to ignore. He knew why I’d really come to The Bridge. And that’s when everything changed…

Emmet

The Bridge wasn’t just my uncle’s legacy, it was his life’s work. And it became mine. I knew nothing else, it had been my home since birth. My family. Of course I wanted to protect it! Keep it safe from the outside world, one that had the ability to infiltrate and destroy everything we had here. Everything we’d built. Created. So, yes, I was reluctant to allow Grace Tyler in. And she arrived with the usual skepticism I’d been expecting from someone who was armed only with snippets of things she’d read. Rumors she’d heard. But the more time she spent with us, the harder it became for her to ignore the reality.
She’d always been destined to come here. Fate had played its part, but she didn’t want to hear that. She didn’t want to believe that sometimes things happen for a reason. There was a reason she came to us. To me. I could see it as clear as day, or, I’d thought I could. But sometimes we need to look a little closer. Think a little deeper. Not be scared to face a truth we might prefer to keep locked away.
I’d thought Grace Tyler had needed saving. I was wrong. She wasn’t the only one who needed saving. She wasn't the only one...

Avery

The Bridge was my home. My sanctuary. Emmet and I, we’d grown up together. Brothers in all but blood. I lived in a place that, to anyone looking in from outside, maybe seemed too good to be true, and yes, nothing’s perfect. But some things come pretty damn close.
Yasmin Rivera came to The Bridge an outsider, hired by me to help us promote our community to the wider population, something Emmet struggled to accept, but in my eyes it was necessary. We had to move on. Change the way we were viewed outside of The Bridge’s gates. And Yasmin, she was key to helping us do that. We worked together a lot, grew closer as time went on, but Yasmin was fiercely private. Surrounded by barriers she was reluctant to lower it wasn’t easy getting to know her as anything other than a work colleague. But I wasn’t going to give up without a fight. If I’d known then what I know now, though, would I have fought as hard? I don’t know. I really don’t know…

Yasmin

I didn’t come to The Bridge by chance. But this job, it was nothing more than a foot in the door. A reason for me to be next to him. Close to him. Avery Wilder. I came to The Bridge because of him. And he needed to know why, but telling him the truth was never going to be easy. Falling for him was never supposed to have been an option, it was wrong on so many levels. But the best laid plans don’t always work out the way you want them to. Mine certainly didn’t. But I should have tried harder to get them back on track.
My mistake was thinking that the truth didn’t matter. That he didn’t need to know why I’d really come to The Bridge.
The truth does matter. It mattered to all of us. Every single one of us. The truth, it changed us all. It changed everything…

Saving Grace is available to download now.

Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited.

Click HERE to check out Chapter One.

Amazon US  /  Amazon UK / Amazon AU / Amazon CA

OK. So there we are. Another book is out in the wild, and for me it's time to get cracking on another brand new story, one that will, hopefully, not take quite as long to see the light of day. Keep your fingers crossed. 🤞😄

Michelle x

Welcome to my writing world...

OK. Here we are, a handful of days into a brand a New Year, and I'm kicking off 2022 with a very different attitude, a much clearer focus, and a spanking new blog!

Turning The Page is going to be, I hope, something not just for me but for all my fellow writers and authors, especially those who are, like me, indie authors. Because the struggle is real, right?

Posts on this blog will take the form of, well, anything, really. Some will be diary posts, my own writing journal if you like as, 30+ books on, I continue to navigate the world of indie publishing. These posts may be nothing more than ramblings, they may sometimes contain something mildly useful to somebody else, I don't know, I'm kind of making this up as I go along. But one thing I do want this to be is a place where I can, hopefully, connect with others, be they authors, readers or fellow bloggers. Writing can be a lonely business. I'm trying to make it less so.

Anyway, before I begin any of that, I should probably tell you a little bit more about me.

My name is Michelle Roberts, but I write under the name Michelle Betham. My maiden name. I've also written one book, a psychological thriller/domestic drama called The Wife (published through One More Chapter) under the pseudonym M.L. Roberts, but that pen name will never see the light of day again. Pyschological thrillers are, for me, great to read but not so much fun to write. But, you know, I was willing to try anything once. Still am, to be honest.

Age-wise I'm 53 going on 25, love going to dance music festivals, and if I could have my life all over again I'd find the time to fit DJing in there somewhere. But, getting back to the writing...

I started out as an indie author back in 2011, when KDP was in its infancy, but it was always my dream to be "traditionally" published. So, after self-publishing a handful of books I started submitting to publishers and, to cut a long story short, I won a competition ran by One More Chapter (formerly Harper Impulse, a division of HarperCollins) in 2013 with my Lapland-set romance The First Christmas Without You and ended up publishing 6 books in total with them. My contract wasn't renewed after the publication of my final book with One More Chapter, The Wife. Was I upset? Yeah. A bit. Of course I was. But by that time, the world of social media was taking over everything, and quite honestly, I knew I couldn't compete with those authors out there who had You Tube channels, tens of thousands of followers on Twitter; a super-popular Instagram account, authors who knew how to market the hell out of their books. I'm completely and utterly crap at marketing, believe me, I suck at it.

Agents were also starting to come into play again, and I knew in my heart of hearts that the kind of books I wrote were never going to be taken on by an agent. I'd tried, when I was writing for One More Chapter, to write the kind of things I thought readers wanted to read, and what publishers needed to see from their authors, and I just wasn't enjoying it. I write in several different romance genres, having published everything from romcoms to dark romance to erotica, I kind of let my mood guide me and take it from there. And even though I knew I was letting go of a dream by deciding not to submit to agents or publishers again, I'm ultimately much happier now, back as an indie author. Traditional publishing, and all the stress that accompanies it, it just wasn't - isn't - for me. I never started writing to make money or to be famous, I write because it's all I've ever wanted to do. Simle as that. I've been scribbling down stories since I could pick up a pencil, and now I'm writing entire books, bringing characters to life; every day I sit at my desk and lose myself in these worlds that I've created. I'm very lucky to be able to do what I love. Very lucky.

Outside of writing I, of course, love to read. And I'll read anything. Any genre. I love them all. But my biggest influence has to be the late, great Jackie Collins. I loved her books, her characters, the escapism she created; big, bold stories that took you on a rollercoaster of a ride. I have a signed photo from Ms Collins herself, a personalised autograph, and it sits on my desk so I can look at it every day and be inspired to be the best writer I can be. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. During the pandemic my writing suffered, and I don't think I was alone in that. The inspiration and focus just wasn't there, but it's coming back. I'm getting there.

I also love music - I'm one of those authors who needs music playing when I write, some of my best ideas have been inspired by a song or a lyric, I can't write in silence. I can't do that.

I'm addicted to streaming services, I mean, who doesn't like a good binge-watch? Seriously, I struggle to think of a life without Netflix, Amazon Prime, Apple+TV... is that sad? Maybe. But you never know when a TV show might also throw you that tiny glimmer of inspiration you've been looking for...

OK. I think I may have rambled on enough now. Hopefully that's given you some sort of an idea about who I am, but as time goes on I think you'll get a better grasp of that. I'm just someone who loves to write, and now I get to do that. I'm also immensely proud to be an indie author. We get some bad rap, at times, from people who seem to think - still - that being an indie author means we have no ambition or that we're just not good enough to get that publishing contract. No. Wrong. I had that publishing contract, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that my writing is more than good enough to gain another one, I just don't want that. I don't. The reasons why I don't want to go back there are numerous, and I might talk about it one day in another, separate post, but in the meantime, underestimate an indie author at your peril. There's an army of us out there, and we're ready to take on the world...

Michelle x